


feelings

by LiviaStyles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Best Friends, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Peter, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, POV Peter Parker, Precious Peter Parker, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-12-27 00:46:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiviaStyles/pseuds/LiviaStyles
Summary: It sucks to have a soulmate who isn't bonded back to you.Because you want to see them happy, you will do anything to see them happy, even if it means getting your heart broken.OR:The one in which Peter is the reader's best friend and soulmate, but he hasn't bonded back to you. Now he asks you to pretend to be in a relationship with him, hoping that Liz will finally notice him now.You've been in love with him for years and you would do anything for him - but how will this fake dating thing affect your relationship?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is the first time ever I've tried writing a Reader Insert. Please tell me what you think!  
> Have fun reading, Livia xx

"Oh c'mon, you're my best friend, please, you're the only one I could pull this off with!", Peter insists. I sigh and try to ignore the 'hurt puppy' looks he shoots me, which is really hard.  
It's moments like these, when Peter is really agitated or feeling very strongly that I can feel it too.

I unconsciously rub my wrist, trying to ignore the prickling from my marker. Peter doesn't seem to catch my movement, he's still rambling on about how I'm the only person he would ever ask this, as he thinks that I'm the only person that this could work with.  
Peter can be so goddamn oblivious at times, it really hurts.  
This - his suggestion, us, pretending to date, just to make Liz jealous - has to be his worst idea ever.

And also the worst thing that could happen to me.  
It would be one thing if Peter was only my best friend - whom I've been crushing on since we've been friends - and he would ask this of me.  
It's entirely another thing when he's asking this of me, and I'm not only his best friend who's been in love with him for what feels like forever, but he's also my soulmate and I'm only half-bonded to him, Peter hasn't bonded back.  
It's been years of unrequited and guarded feelings and now he's asking for this. 

Soulmates are rare as it is. Not everyone has one. But those who do, they are the lucky ones. A soulmate makes your life better, brighter, you're a better person because of them.  
That's what everyone says at least.  
What they don't tell you is that it's not all flowers and sunshines. Even bonded soulmates sometimes don't work out and go separate ways.  
And then there are the ones like me, the half-bonded. The ones that are bonded to another person, but the person isn't bonded back to you, too.

It happened right when we first met, in first grade. I introduced myself to Peter, he said my name and that it was nice to meet me, and I bonded. My marker, a little spider - I still haven't figured that one out, Peter hates Spiders - appeared. I was so frightened, I didn't know what was happening back then.  
My wrist was burning and I was crying out in pain. I felt so confused and lost back then, I only understood what was happening when my Mum explained it to me afterwards.  
To bond at such a young age as I did was really unusual, so my parents hadn't really explained everything about Soulmates to me back then.

There I was, six years old, already having a soulmate. A soulmate who is apparently destined to be with someone else, because in all the years Peter has never bonded back to me.  
And it's not as if I don't call him by his name on a daily basis, seeing as he is my best friend.

"Hey, earth to you, you still with me?", Peter asks, waving a hand in front of my face, interrupting my thoughts.  
"Huh?", I ask him. Hi sighs, but his warm, brown eyes seem to be glowing nonetheless.  
All right, stop it, I try to tell myself.  
"You still haven't answered my question", Peter now says.

Right, how could I forget that one.  
Because of the upcoming Decathlon trip and our Homecoming Dance, Peter thinks it a good idea that we pretend to be in a relationship, to make Liz - the girl Peter's had a crush on for over two years now - jealous.  
There's a multitude of reasons that this is never going to work, me being in love with Peter and Peter being my soulmate only a few of them.

"Peter, I really don't think this is a good idea...", I try to tell him. He ignores me.  
"Oh please, c'mon! This is my chance to finally get Liz to notice me! And trust me, you're the only one I could pull this off with!"  
When I still don't say anything, Peter sighs and takes my hand in his. Fortunately the left one, would he have taken my right one, he would've seen my marker on my wrist, because I've been playing with the sleeve of my sweater since I've been caught up in my thoughts.

I try to ignore the sensation that immediately jolts though me at the feeling of Peter's skin against mine.  
"Please, you're my best friend. You're the only one I can ask this! You're the only one this could work with, because with you it would only feel natural. Please, please do this for me. I'll do anything you want me to, I mean it! But please, help me with this, this is my last chance to get Liz to notice me!"

He's looking me in the eyes now and the skin on my right wrist is tickling again.  
When he's looking at me like that, with his wide, warm brown eyes I know I can't deny him this simple wish. Even if it means getting my heart broken even further in the process.

"Fine", I sigh.  
"Really?! Oh my god, thank you so much, really, you have no idea how much this means to me, really, I'll forever be grateful to you!", Peter exclaims, pulling me in a hug.  
And just for once, I give in. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I'm glad that the can't see the tears I'm trying to hold back.

It sucks to have a soulmate who isn't bonded back to you.  
Because you want to see them happy, you will do anything to see them happy, even if it means getting your heart broken.


	2. troublemaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is telling Ned that you two are dating far earlier than you expected, but why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you so much for the Kudos on the last chapter! I really appreciate it! <3 And I'd literally be over the moon if you'd leave a comment :)
> 
> Also, I'm sorry that this chapter is such a mess, but I'm currently writing my A-Levels and this is the only thing I could manage, because i also didn't want to not upload for three weeks or so. I promise that the next chapter is going to explain more and also offering more Background Information!

„So, you finally bought that new Lego Death Star, you and Peter have always fantasized about?”, I ask Ned, as we sit down at a table in the cafeteria. Ned arranges his tray, before nodding and exclaiming excitedly:  
“Yeah, it’s so awesome! I’ve been dreaming about this for months, I can’t believe I’ve really got it!” I flash Ned a grin and want to say something also about the Lego Death Star, when suddenly Ned changes the subject.  
“So, what’s been up with you and Peter, huh?”, he asks, shooting me a scrutinizing look. I will my face to a hopefully neutral expression, before I turn to face Ned again.  
“Huh, what do you mean?” We haven’t exactly outed ourselves as a couple yet. The only thing we did was walk home back together, holding hands, yesterday.  
Shit. Maybe I’ve been acting weird. Maybe this really is the worst idea I could ever agree to, me fake-dating Peter, when he’s been my soulmate and I’ve had unrequited feelings for him for years now. 

“Oh c’mon, y/n, don’t treat me as if I’m blind. Anyone can see that you two-“  
Luckily, he’s interrupted by Peter. Or maybe not so luckily, seeing that Peter turns to me to place a chaste kiss on my hair, right after putting his tray down on the table. Alarmed, I turn to look at him. What is he doing?! That wasn’t exactly part of the plan. Not yet, at least.  
“Hey Ned, y/n, what’s up?” When I turn to look at Ned again, he seems frozen in motion looking at us as if he’s been slapped across the face. He still holds his spoon in his hand, halfway to his mouth.  
“What just happened?”, he asks us, bewildered. I silently will Peter to look at me, but he doesn’t catch up on it. Of course not, I think bitterly.  
If we were ‘real’ soulmates, if Peter had bonded back to me, we’d be able to mentally communicate. But seeing as Peter hasn’t bonded back during all the years, I’m stuck with only ever getting impressions of his thoughts.  
Just this morning he was daydreaming about Liz yet again. 

“Oh, hasn’t y/n already told you?”, Peter now asks Ned, sounding all excited. What the hell is he doing? I try to catch his gaze, but Peter’s eyes are fixed on Ned.  
And it’s in this exact moment that I see Liz, standing not too far away from us and actually looking at us. Oh.  
“Y/n and I are dating!”, Peter exclaims, so excited that I’d actually think his words to be genuine were it not for the fact that he immediately after saying these words turns around to catch Liz’s reaction. She seems surprised, actually looking at the both of us. 

What Peter does next surprises everyone of us, Ned, Liz and me alike. He turns to shoot me a loving gaze and actually leans towards me, giving me a quick peck on the cheek. What is he doing?  
This was definitely not what we talked about. When Peter first offered this fake dating idea to me, just three days ago, we actually only had agreed to take things easy. To walk home together – as we often do – but to act like a couple, holding hands and such, seeing how other people would react to this.  
Then, maybe, tell Ned, after a week or so of doing so. Then slowly start to act like a couple at school – Peter always walking me to my classes, holding hands, hugging, cheek kisses and such thing – and only on the Decathlon trip, when Liz wouldn’t be able to ignore us any longer, act like a full on couple, maybe actually kissing, if we couldn’t avoid it. It had to be believable, but it didn’t need to be over the top.  
Just believable enough for Liz to get jealous. 

No one ever said anything of basically shoving the fact that we’re ‘dating’ down Ned’s and Liz’s throats, only three days after ‘planning’ this whole thing.  
But Peter continues to ignore the furios and confused looks I send his way. Seemingly satisfied with Liz’s reaction, he turns back to faze Ned again, flashing him a grin. Ned still seems frozen mid-action. He looks at us with utter confusion.  
“You’re joking, right?”, he then says, after he’s seemed to recovered from the first initial shock. I have half a mind to indeed tell Ned that we’re just joking and that this whole thing is nothing more than a farce, but Peter is faster than I am.  
“What, no?”, he actually sounds offended. I never would have guessed Peter such a believable actor. When he puts his arm around, pulling me against him, I almost believe him.  
Just for a few seconds I allow myself to think that this is real: that Peter and I are really dating that he’s bonded back to me and that we’re soulmates, loving and supporting each other. That Peter’s put his arm around me just because he wants me to be closer to him and not because we’re pretending to be dating, trying to make Liz, the girl he actually likes, jealous. 

For a moment I’m actually tended to give in to this fantasy.  
“What? Since when? Why haven’t you told me?”, Ned now asks us. Finally, Peter looks at me. He seems excited and nervous, using his free hand to run it through his hair.  
“Well”, I find myself saying, before I can really think about it. Both Peter and Ned shoot me surprised looks. Peter also sends a wide smile my way, his eyes actually seem to be sparkling of joy.  
Is he really that head-over-heels for Liz? Is it really that important to him to make her jealous? But I get my answer in the prickling sensation of my wrist. I quickly pull my sleeve down again, before anyone can see the little spider on my wrist.  
I throw a glance behind us, Liz still seems to be paying attention to us. Good. 

“See, I’ve always kind of liked Peter. So, when he asked me if we wanted to go to Homecoming together, it was like my dream come true. And I think it wasn’t that hard to pick up on my over-excitement, as Peter did. So, I kind of told him and yeah… guess now we’re here, huh?”  
Peter seems surprised, but he’s still smiling at me, albeit a little confused. I just hope that I didn’t mess things up right now. But, we did agree to go to Homecoming together, so, why not use this fact? Sooner or later we would’ve had to come up with a story anyways.  
I just seriously hope that no one – especially not Peter – will ever notice just how much truth I’ve actually hidden behind my words. 

Peter has turned his head around again, quickly catching Liz’s reaction. She still seems surprised and immediately turns away when she catches Peter’s gaze. I feel a slight jab at his overjoyed face, when he’s looking at Liz, but if that’s what makes him happy, then I will be the last person to stand in his way.  
He may not have bonded back to me, but still, he’s also my best friend. And best friends are there to help each other out.  
And if I am going to have to live with the fact that Peter will never ever reciprocate my feelings, then I can also get used to it now. Rather sooner than later. I know that I’m not going to be able to live with this emotional pain forever, but I want to make Peter happy. 

“wow you guys that’s just…. Insane… I have to process that… my two best friends, dating each other, not telling me a damn thing!”, Ned is saying, more to himself than to us. Peter laughs softly.  
I try to ignore my wrist.  
“I just… I need… I need some time to get used to this fact, see you later!”, Ned is saying, before he’s picking up his tray and walking away. Peter and I both look at him, dumbstruck.  
“Sorry, was that story a little bit too much?”, I ask him, nervously. All his worries about Ned seem to be forgotten, when Peter turns to face me again.  
“What no that was awesome, really! I wouldn’t have been able to come up with something like this by myself that was so awesome, thank you so much!”, he says excitedly, talking so fast that he almost seems to be tripping over the words. 

“Cool”, I say, trying to both ignore the sensation on my wrist and the way Peter’s looking at me. His joy is infectious, really. He seems genuinely happy about everything that’s just happened.  
How can I deny him this? Seeing Peter so excited and content almost makes me happy too, even though my heart is aching at the same time.  
“Really, thank you for playing along! I was planning on telling you that I was gonna do this today, but then I couldn’t find you and I also thought that your reaction would be more natural if you didn’t know so…Sorry.  
But seriously, if anything I do makes you uncomfortable, just tell me! I mean, I’ll forever you grateful to you that you actually agreed to do this. I mean, I still can’t believe it-“

“Hey, it’s fine”, I interrupt him, shooting him a weak smile.  
“Really?”, he asks.  
“Yeah”, I nod. The skin on my wrist seems to be buzzing again. Why does he have to be my soulmate, really? Things would be hard enough if he were only my best friend who doesn’t return my feelings, but throwing a soulmate into the mix, allowing me to always know when he’s thinking about Liz?  
What did I ever do to deserve this cruel twist of fate?

“Thank you, so much! I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise! But I have to go now, the Stark intern-ship!”, Peter says, looking at his watch.  
“Shit, I’m late, again!”, he mutters frustrated under his breath, already getting up again. Ah yes, the mysterious Stark Intern-ship he still hasn’t really told me anything about yet.  
“I’m really sorry for all this mess, y/n, but can we talk tonight? My place, 8 pm?” I can barely nod, then he’s already saying ‘great’, pulling me into a quick hug and walking away. 

Great.  
What kind of mess have I now managed to get myself into?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm liviaholland on Tumblr, you can also look by there :)


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